𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒄𝒐 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 am
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 amSALTBURNT | hex club group chat.
HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: |
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 am
HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: |
✉️ text — un: silco.
Please use this chat to notify other staff of upcoming absences (planned or unscheduled) and other work-related events or emergencies as they come up.
Thank you.
no subject
should i mention now that i’ve never had a job
do we have punch cards?
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@GETJINXED
and we 👩🏻🏫 r always watching 👁️
our 1st employee of the month is koby 😲 congratulations koby 🎉 u did very good 👍 helping put up the welcome sign ✌️ and making the rota 🗒️ twice 2️⃣ after the board spilled blue drink 🍹 on the first rota 😗
@koby
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not here
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@ michaelis
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@finn
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@zombieboy
i'm sure this will work out exactly how you want
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un: 🦋
hydration = stamina
"i don’t usually do this" more than twice = about to cry or propose
"i'm different" from a dude 🚨🚨🚨 he is, he's WORSE
wants to meet u off-clock = wants ur soft spots for free, don't fall for that shit. set boundaries for urself and keep em
if u got a bad vibe, tell em silco needs u in the back
works better if he's in the same room
also who the fuck took my pink lighter shaped like a gun. i'm not mad. i'm worse
un: end.user.license.agreement
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@sgr
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@kpyr7.8
if i have to perform emergency surgery on a customer for accidentally swallowing glass, i'm making whoever's responsible eat it too.
@shadowheart
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@finn
Also, any of the other bouncers want to get a workout group together? Maybe a morning routine. I'm trying to get a consistent regimen going again. No problem bringing anyone else in.
It will be open to the dancers, too. And, really anyone who might want to be involved. I've run drills before. Let me know.
Oh. I'm Riley. Bouncer and Host. Nice to meet everyone on here.
@shadowheart
I'm often at the gym in the mornings anyway, though I may stick to watching your drills rather than partake.
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un: 🦋
just gimme a punching bag or someone i'm allowed to smack around a lil
if u want me to wake up that early there's gotta be caffeine or a dumb boy to pin under me
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@zombieboy
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@zombieboy
i can fight and i fight dirty. anyone who can take me down in less than two minutes gets a prize.
i can teach the ladies how to fight too. i used to train my coworkers if you wanna call them that.
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🔒 PRIVATE to SILCO.
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@kpyr7.8
i laughed
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not here.
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@hangman
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un: 🦋
seeking: one brave bouncer to volunteer for the prestigious honor of stapling saber's disciplinary write-up directly to his ass
this is part of our employee enrichment program 💋
🔪 SABER’S LIST OF CRIMES (LIVE UPDATE):
• tried to volunteer to "rough me up" during workout groups like we’re in a very different kind of club
• breathing way too confidently for someone without health insurance
• attempted leg-hump (target: me, unprovoked. attitude: confident.)
• asked if we "like seeing him wet" like he’s auditioning for jail
• public menace to tip trays, coat racks, and god
• generally exists like he has diplomatic immunity
• not even a little bit sorry
• violating the spirit of at least 4 HR rules
• making shadowheart consider voluntary mute status
🖇️ QUALIFICATIONS TO STAPLE SABER:
• own or can borrow a stapler (regular or industrial)
• firm hands, cruel heart, great aim
• must make it poetic or humiliating — both = extra credit
💌 apply to be club stapler today. pls be honest about your passions and skill set
perks include: light cardio, my exclusive seal of approval & the thrill of righteous vengeance
xoxo
– miss ani, unofficial head of public executions
[ not here yet. ]
pinging @.hangman ]
@koby
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@hangman
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[ not here ]
[ not here ]
@finn
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text ❖ @shadowheart
@finn
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@ michaelis
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not here.
also not here
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@ 🦋
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@finn
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@zombieboy
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@finn
@koby
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@hangman
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✉️ text — un: silco.
As before, please use this chat to give notice of absences or emergencies.
Bad behavior will earn a warning or an HR notice; three of either will result in firing and an immediate ban from both clubs.
Thank you.
@koby
Thank you, Mr. Silco and Ms. Ani. And thank you for the assistance in covering my shifts.
[someone got his head cracked open and called out for a week right after getting the job...]
@BUFFY
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@drakonslayer
@leftcenter
@finn
@freya
un: 🦋
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@ michaelis
@GETJINXED
un: 🦋
i'm happy to announce your favorite boss bitch is back in town ❤️
i know, i know, you missed me and can't live without me
but a girl's gotta get her r&r in
📢 a few handy announcements 📢
silco's throwing an opening night set for this weekend
and by "throwing an opening night" i mean i took over party planning
(yeah, you're welcome. i've heard about the sad excuse for music he's been playing)
you've got a very generous 6 hours to get your shit together
that means:
stop slacking
stop sucking each other off in the break room
start cleaning up like you threw a rager in your mom's basement
"but ani today is our day off" not anymore 💔 so tragic
1. we've got lots of shit to do
2. did i ask??? this is a dictatorship not a fucking democracy
3. i'll be keeping a list of no shows. all hands on deck, motherfuckers
@ finn is still running hex's morning workout squad
pole conditioning's with me if you think you can hang
i got crash mats if you're green or just a pussy about getting a little bruised up
not bein able to feel your legs after comes free with the experience
@ koby i've got a special mission for you should you choose to accept it
floor's open for questions, ideas, groveling and flattery
before you say anything, ask yourself:
"will ani feel dumber just from having to hear me speak? do i sound fucking stupid?" and rethink abusing that send button. ok?
that's all
ani out
xoxo
text — un: FREYA
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@hangman
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@koby
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@suor00
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@koby
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text — un: BUFFY
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@HZF
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text ❖ @shadowheart
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@koby
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@Armand
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@goatface
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un: buck120
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✉️ text — un: silco.
Thank you all for a job well done. Please take tomorrow off to rest and recuperate.
Service will remain suspended over the weekend, but all employees will be expected to come in Monday to help clean up both venues in anticipation of regular operations next week.
@BUFFY
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@🦋
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@hangman
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@koby
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✉️ text — un: silco.
no subject
Happy to take on extra shifts while we’re waiting for new blood, Boss. Any day.
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@zombieboy
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@shipman
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@hangman
@ADRIAN
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@koby
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@THE_BOARD
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@ 🦋
2/2
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📌 PINNED MESSAGE: @silco.
All employees are expected to contribute. Please see below and respond in your respective categories.
🥂 HOST SPECIALS.
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🍻 STAFF SPECIALS.
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🍹 SLIP SPECIALS.
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🍸 PERMANENT MENU.
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🧉 SEASONAL DRINKS.
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✉️ text — un: silco.
They're under his care. ]
ATTENTION: All Hex Club employees (including the board and Miss Ani Mikheeva).
As you are all aware of the currency of this place, I expect you to understand what I mean (and be suitably discreet) when I say that your bonuses have come in for the end of the year.
Please see me in my office to collect.
[ And to each employee, he shares the following: the first page, the spread relevant to them (with any attempts to see anyone else's pages politely and firmly declined), and the final stanzas. ]
Additionally, we are still building out the new drinks menu. See to it that you contribute when you get the chance.
@robert.plant
I'll contribute to the drinks. And I'll be by the office tonight.
@ 🦋
@Armand
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@TRICKY🦊
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not here
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@andor
@wanda
@carpenter
@zombieboy
action sry
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text; un: koby
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@LOVECOOK
📌 PINNED MESSAGE: @🦋
@ everyone
literally every time i leave you unsupervised, all you bitches prove you cannot be trusted with the aux cable. (remember: with great power comes great responsibility, or whatever the fuck.) so here's the drill: hard reset of our club playlist starting right fucking now for my comeback next weekend.
DROP YOUR PLAYLIST SUGGESTIONS BELOW. before you get all excited, please FIRST review ani's BANNED SONGS LIST cuz some of you never learned the meaning of shame and it shows. request any of em and i'm gonna assume you:
1. hate yourself
2. hate women
3. hate me personally
👇👇👇
ANI'S PERSONAL DO-NOT-PLAYLIST
NICKELBACK — music so bad it should qualify as a war crime
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS — sounds like kermit passing a kidney stone while tryna fuck
CREED — your arms will be open but my legs sure as fuck won't be
KID ROCK — your yeehaw ass diet is four loko and newports, don't lie
LYNYRD SKYNYRD — tell me you fuck your cousin without telling me you fuck your cousin
CELINE DION — cuz i had to watch koby cry to the titanic soundtrack on company time like someone died
EVANESCENCE — who hurt you??? like, seriously. blink twice if you need mommy to feed you a xanny
STAIND — yeah, it HAS been awhile since you made someone cum. we hear you loud and clear, dude
MAROON 5 — music for cheaters. holy fucking fuck your body (of work) is absurd(ly bad)
SMOOTH CRIMINAL, MICHAEL JACKSON — no, ani is not okay. stop fucking asking
SWEET CAROLINE, NEIL DIAMOND — BAH BAH banned, bitch
YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG — you shook for exactly 2 minutes and then asked "was it good for you too, baby?"
HOTEL CALIFORNIA, THE EAGLES — this song is 7 mins long and my pussy dies @ the 30 second mark
EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORNS, POISON — every dad has his divorce-core soundtrack
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME, THE POLICE — ironically i will be calling the police. sir, step away from that girl
I'M IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER, T-PAIN — you are not in love with the stripper. you are drunk. go home to your wife, greg
WONDERWALL, OASIS — if a white man has ever dedicated this to you, your ptsd is clinically worse than a vietnam vet's
CLOSER, NINE INCH NAILS — you do not fuck like an animal. your kinkiest trick is doggy style with the lights off
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS, MOTLEY CRUE — i can literally smell this song and it's hot dog water and 3 DUIs
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME, DEF LEPPARD — cornball shit. if you play this i'm banning your bloodline
SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY / ALL COUNTRY (SHANIA TWAIN EXCEPTION) — owning a ford f-50 is not a personality
ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, ALL OF IT, NICKELBACK — reminder: ani is allergic. playing this kills ani
PANTERA, GODSMACK, PAPA ROACH, ETC — soundtracks for monster energy and punching drywall
MR. BRIGHTSIDE, THE KILLERS — white people mating call. banned for public safety reasons
ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE, KISS — you cannot rock or roll. you take blood thinners and need to be in bed by 8
BAD TO THE BONE, GEORGE THOROGOOD — bad to the bone but like, arthritically
📄 ANI'S PETITION TO GET YOUR TRASH TASTE UNBANNED
NAME:
SONG/BAND YOU'RE BEGGING TO UNBAN:
WHY YOU THINK YOUR OPINION DESERVES RIGHTS: "it gets me turnt" = auto-rejection
WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING ANI IN EXCHANGE:
☐ violence on her behalf
☐ an IOU to be cashed in
☐ bribery (compliments or cash)
☐ sexual favors (subject to ani's high standards)
SIGNATURE CERTIFYING YOU ARE A DUMB BITCH: you acknowledge all requests are subject to public humiliation. ani is not legally responsible for any emotional damage you may incur
not here.
@buck120
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@koby
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@autumnreaver
@ 🦋
📌 xmas work party popping soon, date TBA. employees only. +1s allowed if they're hot & housebroken. bring em if you got em
📌 vote with your heart or your hard-on in our EOTY employee poll. only winners get a surprise 💕
📌 OFFICIAL NOW: EMBRY MOORE is banned from the hex & the slip. if you don't know him, good for you. this is for all employees: if he breathes within 15 ft of me, your ass will have bigger problems than losing your job
xoxo
— your fave boss
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Private @ :)
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@blackrock00
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@carpenter
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@zombieboy
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@mommylonglegs
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@guevara
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@qimir
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@faith
‼️‼️⚠️ ATTENTION HOES ⚠️‼️‼️
if my electrolyte drink goes missing one more time, i'm pissing in the water cooler
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
@24CARATLABUBU
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@zombieboy
that prick angel get any of you
@qimir
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@ 🦋
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@guevara
@strange
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@buck120
@faith
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@gingerailed
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@strange
In light of recent events, if you want your space warded against uninvited guests, I can accommodate.
@ 🦋 @ silco
Same goes for the clubs.
@qimir
Hello, Stephen.
What does this mean?
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@ 🦋
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@silco
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@guevara
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@wanda
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@ 🦋
head's up rq 🫶
it's buffy's happy blow-day and we're doin a thing at her gym tonight, prom themed
cheers to the day her daddy took the wrapping off and gave us all a gift
turn up & turn out WITH A GIFT
+1s welcome if their vibes ain't rancid
and DROP YOUR BDAYS BELOW 👇👇👇
we're making a calendar starting now so i don't have to listen to you bitches moan & cry about scheduling on your special lil day
i bought koby a fat stack of new crayons so let's give him an excuse to put em to work
ani out 💋
@guevara | 🔒 →
i'll bring something by.
[ after a moment: ]
two somethings.
@zombieboy
@gingerailed
@buck120
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@chum
@HONEYSUCKLE
@silco
@qimir