SALTBURNT | hex club group chat.

[powerhungry]

HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: Silco, Gwen, Faith, Hawk, Neon, Buffy, Cassian, Devon, Koby, Shadowheart, Stephen, Yeko, Zephir, Dean, Tara, Wanda, Jake, Saber, Sanji, Adrian; Ani, Peony, Bob, Yelena, Valentina, Sam, Max, Tristan, Parisa, Qimir, Thresher, Armand, Shauna, Cellar, Roza, Iggy, Isolde, Peter, Wally, Danny, Eddie, Teddie.

Comments

MY IRL LAUGH

[ailerons]

I love Words with Friends.

[ Which came out in 2009 and also this is not words with friends. ]

Nice of you to give me a hard start
I'll take an A

local comedy queen 😔

[haggle]

lol no way you play words with friends, you fucking muppet
family scrabble nights must have been brutal for you
too many big words for my jakey :(

( alexa how to delete part of a freudian slip text )

wow i'm impressed
that you're already speedrunning your fucking loss jesus christ get it together man

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[ailerons]

I only lose on Christmas, Ani
And birthdays
It's part of my charitable gifts to society.

[ So like, multiple times a year. Breaking news: Local man too busy puffing up like a male bird to stop flirting in the work Slack. ]

N

[haggle]

imagine how charitable it would be if you ever gave us the gift of you shutting the fuck up
you never know, right? could be the solution to world peace
pretty sure john lennon wrote a song about that shit

( imagine all the people living in peace. other impossibilities: imagine jake seresin not speaking. )


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guess i know what i'm getting your dumbass for christmas
a nice big dictionary 😘

[ailerons]

More of a Foghat man, myself

How about I
For I can't believe you remembered my size

[ Not even the threat of imminent hanged death could stop Jake Seresin from making that joke at work. ]

[haggle]

no one listens to foghat dude

( speedrunning the five stages of grief reading a man saying some cornball shit and realizing with abject horror you still want to fuck him anyway — )

three swings and a miss, this losing streak is starting to make me feel so sad for you
cute of you to use my name btw
& to think i haven't read bigger encyclopedias 💔

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""";
"""

[ailerons]

"No one"??
You just said you like the Beatles

[ Jake kind of imagines that Silco would like The Beatles. Or the soundtrack to Amadeus. ]

For the record
"Encyclopedia" is a not the way to spell satisfyer pro
And everyone loves an underdog, Ani [ Said a man who has never thought of himself as an underdog. ]
I'll turn this around

Lucky letter E

[haggle]

first of all i have a thing called taste
second of all this is the most insulting day of my goddamn life
i don't go outta my way to listen to a bunch of dudes who jerked each other off thanks

satisfyer pro??? please
sounds like the name of a fucked-up dildo
which i guess is exactly what you are

( ani mikheeva's personal dildo (derogatory) (affectionate somehow) ??? )

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rest assured you're top dog at losing baby

[ailerons]

[ Like, immediately: ]

As much as I'm enjoying learning all about who you think had the time to have touring orgies

Going with O
For Oh ye of little faith
And
You know
;)

[haggle]

i'd say pick up a rolling stone article and read all about it except
well
you can't really do that can you :(

yeah
o for obnoxious
and fucking capital O obsessed with my ass

( like, literally. figuratively, too. )

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congrats on your stay of execution hungman
guess you got lucky with that big O huh

[ailerons]

I have eyes
I can appreciate a work of art

Even if I never learned how to read :(

[ And it's such a great ass. Squats, you know. It's a purely professional appreciation. ""Professional"" ]

I told you I'd turn this around
F?

[haggle]

uhhh bitch did picasso work his ass off on the mona lisa just for you to call it "a work of art"
i don't fucking think so
i'll help you out, hooked on phonics. okay?
the word you're looking for is "masterpiece"

( a simple "fuck off" would be so amateur hour: )

_ _ _ _ OFF

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look at you
2 for 1