πππππ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 am
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 amSALTBURNT | hex club group chat.
HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: |
powerhungry) wrote2025-05-16 08:43 am
HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: |
2/2
NAME:
QUALIFICATIONS: CHECK ALL THAT APPLY
β IQ ABOVE ROOM TEMP (RARE)
β CAN COUNT TO TEN (WITHOUT USING HANDS)
β KNOWS HOW TO SAY "NO REFUNDS" WITHOUT CRYING (THAT'S NOT YOU, KOBY)
β WILLING TO THROW A MEAN RIGHT HOOK
β HAS NOT FUCKED OVER 50% OF THE EMPLOYEES
β HAS NOT EVER CRIED ON THE CLOCK
SPECIAL SKILLS:
PLEASE LIST ANY SKILLS THAT HELP, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: TWERKING, TAX FRAUD, CREATIVE THREATS, CUSTOMER SERVICE VOICE, COCK & BALL TORTURE, PAPERWORK, RUNNING IN HEELS
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLE:
β PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
β CRYING TO MOMMY
β VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER
β MANIPULATION
β TEACHER VOICE
β "DO YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH?"
β ALL OF THE ABOVE (PREFERRED)
WHY SHOULD YOU BE IN CHARGE WHILE I'M AWAY?
@TRICKYπ¦
QUALIFICATIONS:
βοΈ IQ ABOVE ROOM TEMP (RARE)
βοΈ CAN COUNT TO TEN (WITHOUT USING HANDS)
βοΈ KNOWS HOW TO SAY "NO REFUNDS" WITHOUT CRYING (THAT'S NOT YOU, KOBY)
βοΈ WILLING TO THROW A MEAN RIGHT HOOK
βοΈ HAS NOT FUCKED OVER 50% OF THE EMPLOYEES
βοΈ HAS NOT EVER CRIED ON THE CLOCK
SPECIAL SKILLS: MANIPULATION, HAPPY TO STEP ON MEN (AND WOMEN, BUT ONLY IF THEY WANT ME TO), BOSSY, POWERFUL, STRONGER THAN MOST EVERYONE HERE, I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT PAPERWORK TO DO IT, I CAN OUTSMART THE DUMMIES AND DOGS, I CAN MAKE ILLUSIONS ;)
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLE:
β PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
β CRYING TO MOMMY
β VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER
β MANIPULATION
β TEACHER VOICE
β "DO YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH?"
βοΈ ALL OF THE ABOVE (PREFERRED) - NOTE: I don't cry to mommy.
WHY SHOULD YOU BE IN CHARGE WHILE I'M AWAY?: Ani, you saw how I worked those humans during werewolf. Imagine what I can do now that my powers are back ♥
no subject
you've advanced to round two of ani's chosen one competition
QUESTION 1. YOU CATCH EMPLOYEES FUCKING ON THE CLOCK (WORKPLACE RISK). HOW DO YOU PROCEED?
a) public shaming (sextape "leak" with commentary on how long they lasted)
b) dish out one-week of community service cum clean-up
c) castrate any man involved on sight
d) close the door & pour bleach into your eyes
e) threesome
QUESTION 2. KOBY SNUCK HIS WAY PAST THE BABY GATE. WHAT'S THE RIGHT MOVE?
a) play him baby sensory videos (blue planet) till he knocks out
b) multiple squirts w/ spray bottle
c) stare menacingly until he bursts into tears
d) let him cook
QUESTION 3. SOMEONE STARTED SHIT. WHAT'S THE SNITCH PROTOCOL?
a) blame a man even if none were involved (they know what they did)
b) accuse saber immediately (safe bet tbh)
c) gather receipts & DM them to ani for review
d) choose bros (them) over hoes (ani) you fucking judas
QUESTION 4. AN UNSPECIFIED MAN IS BEING LOUD, ANNOYING, WRONG, OR ALL THREE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION. WHAT DO YOU DO?
a) deliver him to ani for capital punishment
b) invest in earplugs & find your inner peace
c) sit on his face until he shuts the fuck up (48-hours min)
d) escort him into the woods & let natural selection deal w/ him
QUESTION 5. WHO IS THE HOTTEST BITCH IN THE WORKPLACE?
HOW ABOUT TOP UGGO?
JUSTIFY YOUR ANSWERS. THERE IS A RIGHT AND WRONG ONE.
QUESTION 6. SOMEONE DISRESPECTS YOUR AUTHORITY. IN ONE HUNDRED WORDS OR LESS, TELL ME YOUR GO-TO RESPONSE.
QUESTION 7. DO YOU ACCEPT YOU'RE ANI'S THRONE WARMER, NOT NEXT IN LINE FOR THE CROWN?
QUESTION 8. WHAT ARE YOU GETTING ANI FOR CHRISTMAS? (PROVIDE RETAIL VALUE)
QUESTION 9. IS ANI EVER WRONG?
QUESTION 10. IS NEPOTISM EVER OK?
a) yes if ani likes them
b) yes if their tongue game's elite
c) yes if they're a woman
d) everyone suffers equally in ani's gulag
no subject
2. A. I don't see the point in making him cry. Hasn't he been through enough recently?
3. C.
4. D.
5. I need more information. Are we basing this off of looks alone?
6. Disrespect me? I donβt think so. If they want to make this mistake, Iβll put them in a corner and create an illusion of limbo. They wonβt be able to leave until I remove my psychic barrier. What do they see there, you ask? Depends on my mood. Iβd hate for their worst, most embarrassing memory to be played over and over again. Haha, Iβm joking. Iβd love for them to experience it. Did I mention I can project the memory for everyone at work to see? You should have a projector room, Ani.
7. Yes, I donβt want to manage this place forever. As I see it, humans deserve some reprieve after that messy situation at the commune.
8. I canβt put retail value on the gift I would give her, itβs a priceless one. She can have details if she chooses to move forward with letting me replace her for the time being.
9. Yes, see question 10. Everyone suffers equally, so! She can be wrong.
10. D.
no subject
you were about to take the dub till #9 (you're still on the shortlist tho)
the correct answer is: "ani is never wrong and if she is, i'd reshape reality to make sure she's right"
& #8 should say "no one can replace ani but i'm the next best thing"
#10 is correct tho. i do suffer (from success & everyone else's stupidity) in this place
no subject
let me know when someone inevitably fails the test
1/2
2/2
no subject
omg BUSTED & caught red-handed at the scene of the crime
you're not even supposed to be back on the grind unless it's on dick dude
ATTENTION @ EVERYONE
if koby is spotted
— trying to work
— thinking about work
— jacking off on an excel sheet
— drooling over a stapler
— doing ANYTHING that implicates the pink slip & hex club in child labor
DO
— CORNER HIM
— SAY "WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?"
— GRAB HIM BY THE COLLAR
— DRAG HIS ASS BACK TO HIS OWNER (ani mikheeva) ASAP
DO NOT
— HIRE HIM AS YOUR TASKRABBIT
— PLAY FETCH WITH HIM
— GET FLEECED INTO LETTING HIM LIFT A FINGER
— FALL FOR HIS BULLSHIT ("JUST ONE MORE THING & THEN I'LL TAKE FIVE, I PROMISE" OR "I WOULD FEEL SO MUCH BETTER IF I COULD HELP")
THIS IS AGAINST COMPANY POLICY & VIOLATES OSHA OR WHATEVER THE FUCK
BREAK THIS RULE & YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
(fired or firing squad. ani's choice)
he's on forced family leave effective right fucking now
(stress is bad for my baby & harshes my vibe)
xoxo
@gingerailed
(sorry not sorry, kobes)
no subject
believe in urself
80% of your coworkers would starve brain-eating bacteria
thx precious
snitch loud and proud
no subject
1/3
2/3
3/3 >> π
Have a fun time off.
π
don't do that shit
feelings clog my pores
that's my line btw
go get your chakras realigned and your back broken babe
perma π
Ani, your pores are perfect, don't make ridiculous things up.
I won't say it again for at least six business weeks, don't worry.
Not sure what chakras are, but I'll take the rest under consideration.
Hope you have fun uh
Doing the same?
πππ
no subject
( jesus. you drag some dude to a happy family reenactment one fucking time, and suddenly the entire goddamn neighborhood is salivating for gossip like someone's russian auntie, on the hunt for a single crumb of confirmation you aren't going to shrivel up and die alone. )
πππβββ
the fuck you looking at, sherlock hoes?
no subject
[which, let's be real, is an improvement from recognizing none at all.
of course koby is insatiable about gossip and information -- almost as much as he is about proper grout maintenance -- but he knows ani. even alluding that she's going to spend time with someone is a big step.
so:] Nothing. π I hope you have a nice time away, that's all.
Stay hydrated π¦ [not what that emoji means, kobert.]
no subject
yeah babe good dick turning me into a super soaker is kinda the assignment thx
don't worry king i'll take water fountain breaks
stock up on gatorade
etc
no subject
And eat something.
And take a nap if you need to.
[fuss fuss fuss, the girl has had dick appointments before, koby.]
And I promise not to try to work while you're gone :)
no subject
She can smell the midday margaritas from here. ]
get better soon!
no subject
i'm already the premium model for fine shit
but i'll pass your well-wishes onto the needy & the mediocre
tis the season for charity work β€οΈ
no subject
may you bounce on the thickest dick in the manor and may your chakras get properly aligned. reach nirvana, have an out of body experience. i'm not even being facetious here
[ Tara has a feeling that Ani won't take a sincere...anything, really. And Tara is not about to insult her, not when she's basically in Ani's domain, and with Silco surely overlooking everything.
Also, she's not that big of a bitch. ]
or you know, pass it on to someone in need of a good fuck, since 'tis the season of giving or whatever
also we both know my sister is the best choice
no subject
QUALIFICATIONS: CHECK ALL THAT APPLY
βοΈ IQ ABOVE ROOM TEMP (RARE) (i graduated anyway)
βοΈ CAN COUNT TO TEN (WITHOUT USING HANDS) (or toes)
βοΈ KNOWS HOW TO SAY "NO REFUNDS" WITHOUT CRYING (THAT'S NOT YOU, KOBY) (or blinking)
βοΈ WILLING TO THROW A MEAN RIGHT HOOK (always)
βοΈ HAS NOT FUCKED OVER 50% OF THE EMPLOYEES (not that i know of)
βοΈ HAS NOT EVER CRIED ON THE CLOCK (not yet)
SPECIAL SKILLS:
- dealing with shitheads who called me a murderer and a bitch at least once a week
- retail (there theyβd just call me a bitch)
- running in boots (sometimes with heels)
- taser-ball torture
- kill strikes, shots, and stabs
- surviving (so far)
- cooking
CONFLICT RESOLUTION STYLE:
βοΈ PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE
β CRYING TO MOMMY
βοΈ VIOLENCE IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER
β MANIPULATION
βοΈ TEACHER VOICE
βοΈ "DO YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH?"
β ALL OF THE ABOVE (PREFERRED)
WHY SHOULD YOU BE IN CHARGE WHILE I'M AWAY?
i shouldnβt, if you find someone better for the job.