SALTBURNT | hex club group chat.

[powerhungry]

HEX CLUB/PINK SLIP GROUP CHAT. SILCO HAS ADDED YOU TO THIS CHAT. 42 people: Silco, Gwen, Faith, Hawk, Neon, Buffy, Cassian, Devon, Koby, Shadowheart, Stephen, Yeko, Zephir, Dean, Tara, Wanda, Jake, Saber, Sanji, Adrian; Ani, Peony, Bob, Yelena, Valentina, Sam, Max, Tristan, Parisa, Qimir, Thresher, Armand, Shauna, Cellar, Roza, Iggy, Isolde, Peter, Wally, Danny, Eddie, Teddie.

Comments

📌 PINNED MESSAGE: @🦋

[haggle]

📣 attn: sluts, subjects, and whatever alien species adrian is
@ everyone

literally every time i leave you unsupervised, all you bitches prove you cannot be trusted with the aux cable. (remember: with great power comes great responsibility, or whatever the fuck.) so here's the drill: hard reset of our club playlist starting right fucking now for my comeback next weekend.

DROP YOUR PLAYLIST SUGGESTIONS BELOW. before you get all excited, please FIRST review ani's BANNED SONGS LIST cuz some of you never learned the meaning of shame and it shows. request any of em and i'm gonna assume you:

1. hate yourself
2. hate women
3. hate me personally

👇👇👇

---

ANI'S PERSONAL DO-NOT-PLAYLIST

NICKELBACK — music so bad it should qualify as a war crime
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS — sounds like kermit passing a kidney stone while tryna fuck
CREED — your arms will be open but my legs sure as fuck won't be
KID ROCK — your yeehaw ass diet is four loko and newports, don't lie
LYNYRD SKYNYRD — tell me you fuck your cousin without telling me you fuck your cousin
CELINE DION — cuz i had to watch koby cry to the titanic soundtrack on company time like someone died
EVANESCENCE — who hurt you??? like, seriously. blink twice if you need mommy to feed you a xanny
STAIND — yeah, it HAS been awhile since you made someone cum. we hear you loud and clear, dude
MAROON 5 — music for cheaters. holy fucking fuck your body (of work) is absurd(ly bad)

SMOOTH CRIMINAL, MICHAEL JACKSON — no, ani is not okay. stop fucking asking
SWEET CAROLINE, NEIL DIAMOND — BAH BAH banned, bitch
YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG — you shook for exactly 2 minutes and then asked "was it good for you too, baby?"
HOTEL CALIFORNIA, THE EAGLES — this song is 7 mins long and my pussy dies @ the 30 second mark
EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORNS, POISON — every dad has his divorce-core soundtrack
DON'T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME, THE POLICE — ironically i will be calling the police. sir, step away from that girl
I'M IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER, T-PAIN — you are not in love with the stripper. you are drunk. go home to your wife, greg
WONDERWALL, OASIS — if a white man has ever dedicated this to you, your ptsd is clinically worse than a vietnam vet's

CLOSER, NINE INCH NAILS — you do not fuck like an animal. your kinkiest trick is doggy style with the lights off
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS, MOTLEY CRUE — i can literally smell this song and it's hot dog water and 3 DUIs
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME, DEF LEPPARD — cornball shit. if you play this i'm banning your bloodline
SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY / ALL COUNTRY (SHANIA TWAIN EXCEPTION) — owning a ford f-50 is not a personality
ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, ALL OF IT, NICKELBACK — reminder: ani is allergic. playing this kills ani
PANTERA, GODSMACK, PAPA ROACH, ETC — soundtracks for monster energy and punching drywall
MR. BRIGHTSIDE, THE KILLERS — white people mating call. banned for public safety reasons
ROCK AND ROLL ALL NITE, KISS — you cannot rock or roll. you take blood thinners and need to be in bed by 8
BAD TO THE BONE, GEORGE THOROGOOD — bad to the bone but like, arthritically

---

📄 ANI'S PETITION TO GET YOUR TRASH TASTE UNBANNED
NAME:
SONG/BAND YOU'RE BEGGING TO UNBAN:
WHY YOU THINK YOUR OPINION DESERVES RIGHTS: "it gets me turnt" = auto-rejection
WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING ANI IN EXCHANGE:
☐ violence on her behalf
☐ an IOU to be cashed in
☐ bribery (compliments or cash)
☐ sexual favors (subject to ani's high standards)

SIGNATURE CERTIFYING YOU ARE A DUMB BITCH: you acknowledge all requests are subject to public humiliation. ani is not legally responsible for any emotional damage you may incur

not here.

[powerhungry]

[ ]

@buck120

[maoa]

just off the top of my head:

i get lonely - janet jackson
we need a resolution - aaliyah
wait for you - nelly furtado
la tortura - shakira
deja vu - beyonce

💋💋💋

[haggle]

🫶 a model student as uzhe
for the bitches in the back this is what we call ✨understanding the assignment✨

[maoa]

🫶 learned from the best
(even as a california girl)

[cdh13]

ask and you shall receive

2000s

Just Dance - Lady Gaga
Womanizer - Britney Spears
Low - Flo Rida
Bye Bye Bye - NSYNC
Stereo Love - Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina
My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes
TikTok - Ke$ha
California Gurls - Katy Perry
Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani
Shots - LMFAO

90s

One Headlight - The Wallflowers
Loser - Beck
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden
In Bloom - Nirvana
Linger - The Cranberries
Kitty - The Presidents of the United States of America
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Pretty Fly for a White Guy - The Offspring
Little Miss Can't be Wrong - Spin Doctors
Nookie - Limp Bizkit
Sex & Candy - Marcy Playground
Cochise - Audioslave
Amber - 311
Ready to Go - Republica
Drops of Jupiter - Train
She's so High - Tal Bachman

80s

Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears for Fears
What's Love Got To Do With It - Tina Turner
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cindy Lauper
I Want To Break Free - Queen
Beat It - Michael Jackson
Material Girl - Madonna
Self Control - Laura Branigan
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
Hungry Like The Wolf - Duran Duran
Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush
It's My Life - Talk Talk
West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
Your Love - The Outfield
Love Shack - The B-52's
Cruel Summer - Bananrama
Genius of Love - Tom Tom Club
Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
(You Gotta) Fight for your Right (To Party) - Beastie Boys
Like a Virgin - Madonna
Owner of a Lonely Heart - YES
Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins
Hot For Teacher - Van Halen

and i got bored

[haggle]

THE REJECT PILE
🚫 NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP — you're WILD if you think anyone's getting away with rickrolling me in my club
🚫 MY HAPPY ENDING — respect to avril but this is the kinda shit you're on right before you hit your ex with "wyd"
🚫 RUNNING UP THAT HILL — and everyone else will be running for the exit
🚫 DROPS OF JUPITER — not letting anyone grind to the shit you hear scanning tampons at a walmart self-checkout
🚫 DANGER ZONE — company police states: if jake would unironically call it a "total jam" ani hates it on vibes alone
🚫 PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY — sounds how the last sad dab in a weed pen tastes
🚫 MR. BRIGHTSIDE — refer back to ani's banned list ("white people mating call")
🚫 HOT FOR TEACHER — van halen needs to be on some kinda watchlist for those lyrics
🚫 LINGER — you'll be shaking your prozac bottle to this, not your ass
🚫 CALIFORNIA GURLS — cali girls ain't shit. east coast bitches are built different. and by different, i mean better
— THE ONLY TRACK ABOUT CALI EVER ALLOWED IS CALIFORNIA LOVE (RIP TUPAC BABY, KING OF PUSSY-POPPERS)

EVERYTHING ELSE
✔ SECURED A SPOT ON ANI'S PUSSY POPPERS AND PANTY DROPPERS PLAYLIST

[cdh13]

hey, rick astley totally kills it, but i guess it would be hard to grind against someone if you burst in laughter

now i want to hear jake's playlist, is it all giving aviator shades and cheap beer aura?

i was going to go further back the then i remembered we have actual old people here, they should get to play too

but i might come back to this if they're found lacking

@koby

[kobes]

[]

I like things that aren't Celine Dion!

[haggle]

mhm ok
and are the other things in the room with us right now
or is it just the ghost of leo's twink death???

[kobes]

I like Shania Twain and Louis Armstrong and whale sounds and that song about getting knocked down and getting up again.

[haggle]

i seriously can't with this captain ahab on crack cocaine ass playlist

[kobes]

[pause to reference his notes.]

Does Captain Ahab serve cunt?

1/3

[haggle]

( does captain ahab serve cunt. does captain ahab serve cunt. does captain ahab serve cunt. )

2/3

[haggle]

( some developments are only new once. first words. first motor development. first food. baby's first serve cunt. screenshotting this for posterity, like an infant's first handprints, smeared and sealed in paint by proud parents, lasting through the mountain peaks and rock-bottoms of a lifetime — )

[haggle]

he was chasing the mobiest of dicks for forty years
a little like you, babe
kinda makes you think about your future, huh?

[kobes]

Oh!

Is that a yes? What does "mobiest" mean?

[stake]

none of your business — salt n pepa
as if — blaque
sex and candy — marcy playground
make it wit chu — queens of the stone age

@autumnreaver

[littlepebble]

I would like my dance song to be She Wolf by the artist Shakira, please.

And I thank you all for the education on the music of this world. I did not know that pathetic men had their own genre!