🗂️ HEX CLUB INTERNAL MEMO – HR INFRACTION NOTICE 💋 To: jake From: ani, hr dept (hot & ruthless) Date: rn. bc ur already in trouble Subject: FAILURE TO COMPLY / EMOTIONAL SABOTAGE (YOU HAD ONE JOB & YOU FUMBLED THE FUCKING BAG)
dear jake. lowercase. like your effort, this letter serves as formal notice of your ongoing misconduct in the following categories:
insubordination – failure to promptly assist me in the disciplinary stapling of saber’s ass despite clear, public instruction (see: “if he ever wanted to impress me 🙄”).
disloyalty – trying to side w the union instead of the woman you claim you wanna impress (hint: that's me, dumbass)
emotional terrorism – targeting koby (sweet baby angel, cries easy) with star wars spoilers
your behavior has caused the following collateral damage:
vengeance = delayed (gross)
koby = traumatized (who hurt you?)
my vibes = down 17% (unaffordable)
my panties = staying on (your fault)
corrective actions to fix this shitshow include:
immediate acts of obedience
groveling (in writing or in person. shirtless optional)
a sincere apology to koby w/ possible tribute (flowers? ass pics? i’ll consult w/ him)
failure to comply will result in me reevaluating your character, including whether you're the type of guy to let another man disrespect me without blood, bruises, or even a fucking paper cut.
no subject
To: jake
From: ani, hr dept (hot & ruthless)
Date: rn. bc ur already in trouble
Subject: FAILURE TO COMPLY / EMOTIONAL SABOTAGE (YOU HAD ONE JOB & YOU FUMBLED THE FUCKING BAG)
dear jake. lowercase. like your effort,
this letter serves as formal notice of your ongoing misconduct in the following categories:
your behavior has caused the following collateral damage:
corrective actions to fix this shitshow include:
failure to comply will result in me reevaluating your character, including whether you're the type of guy to let another man disrespect me without blood, bruises, or even a fucking paper cut.
(you’re not. right, baby?)
xo,
ani mikheeva
hr dept