📣 ATTENTION HEX CLUB EMPLOYEES 📣 seeking: one brave bouncer to volunteer for the prestigious honor of stapling saber's disciplinary write-up directly to his ass this is part of our employee enrichment program 💋
🔪 SABER’S LIST OF CRIMES (LIVE UPDATE): • tried to volunteer to "rough me up" during workout groups like we’re in a very different kind of club • breathing way too confidently for someone without health insurance • attempted leg-hump (target: me, unprovoked. attitude: confident.) • asked if we "like seeing him wet" like he’s auditioning for jail • public menace to tip trays, coat racks, and god • generally exists like he has diplomatic immunity • not even a little bit sorry • violating the spirit of at least 4 HR rules • making shadowheart consider voluntary mute status
🖇️ QUALIFICATIONS TO STAPLE SABER: • own or can borrow a stapler (regular or industrial) • firm hands, cruel heart, great aim • must make it poetic or humiliating — both = extra credit
💌 apply to be club stapler today. pls be honest about your passions and skill set perks include: light cardio, my exclusive seal of approval & the thrill of righteous vengeance
xoxo – miss ani, unofficial head of public executions
un: 🦋
seeking: one brave bouncer to volunteer for the prestigious honor of stapling saber's disciplinary write-up directly to his ass
this is part of our employee enrichment program 💋
🔪 SABER’S LIST OF CRIMES (LIVE UPDATE):
• tried to volunteer to "rough me up" during workout groups like we’re in a very different kind of club
• breathing way too confidently for someone without health insurance
• attempted leg-hump (target: me, unprovoked. attitude: confident.)
• asked if we "like seeing him wet" like he’s auditioning for jail
• public menace to tip trays, coat racks, and god
• generally exists like he has diplomatic immunity
• not even a little bit sorry
• violating the spirit of at least 4 HR rules
• making shadowheart consider voluntary mute status
🖇️ QUALIFICATIONS TO STAPLE SABER:
• own or can borrow a stapler (regular or industrial)
• firm hands, cruel heart, great aim
• must make it poetic or humiliating — both = extra credit
💌 apply to be club stapler today. pls be honest about your passions and skill set
perks include: light cardio, my exclusive seal of approval & the thrill of righteous vengeance
xoxo
– miss ani, unofficial head of public executions